Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Woke up early the other morning to catch up on the many things I have let build up, started at 7:30am, ready by 8am, started to scratch around the mounds of papers etc that had built up on the desk and then booted up the computer to catch up on emails and other things I have put on the back burner, yes the morning was off to a great start, the phone rang, I scrambled to my coat hanging on the chair, weaved my way around the sofa bed, pile of laundry awaiting to be folded and made it to the chair, only then I felt that surging pain, oh too familiar. Yes I stubbed my toe, the second time in a week, only this time I think I did it properly and broke it! Black and blue is the lovely shade that now surrounds the side of my little toe and half way down my foot. OK so I shouldn’t complain, it’s nothing really, because then I got the news of yet another NB warrior that gained her angel wings, little Grace, and then I quickly stopped feeling sorry for myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, I just feel like screaming, closing my eyes and clicking my heels and saying “there’s no place like home”. I keep wondering why I have started to get depressed again, I was doing so well, then someone said to me that maybe because Dylan is doing so well right now and looking so great, that for right now I can worry less about him and my mind now is at a loss. I don’t know, I guess this whole cancer world is a numerous cycle of riding that roller coaster. Maybe it’s because the holiday season is fast approaching and I miss my mum, family and friends in Australia that little bit more. I really should stop analyzing my feelings, but it’s in my nature. At the end of the day it is how it is for right now and I have to just get my emotions back into shape. Cain is doing better at school, he still struggles with the amount of homework and does not have many friends but at least he is not approaching me every day with being upset about school, so I figure he is slowly adjusting. Dylan on the other hand, did not like the school experience. The first few days were good but then I got phone calls from the school nurse at lunch times and would pick him up early and then it turned into a crying session every morning. After much contemplation, he is now back to home schooling, he is much happier and so am I. I was so worried about him at school, 3 days in and he was hit in the face with football and came home with bruises on his face, and then when he cried about going I just couldn’t bring myself to fight with him about it. I just want to do what’s right for him and putting him back to home instruction was a hard decision for me. On the medical side, Dylan had a HAMA test yesterday and we should get those results next week. His platelets are now in the 70’s which is great, let’s hope they continue to rise and reach our goal of 100 so we can consider a stem cell harvest by the end of the year. My mind has been off somewhere for the past few weeks that today Tim had to remind me that it was our 10year wedding anniversary tomorrow, I felt so bad that I had forgotten! The past week has involved Halloween activities at the Ronald House, we went to the great Mexican Restaurant again this year, they always put on a great Halloween party for the kids. We came to Long Island for traditional Trick or Treating in the suburbs, just like in the movies! It was great to see all the children in costumes running from door to door. A big Thank you to Party Fair in Brooklyn who donated our costumes for the Halloween season, they also donated costumes to all the children at RMDH. The boys had great fun and are now proving difficult to get to bed after so much candy in their bellies, but I am sure most parents tonight are having the very same issue. You can view some photos HERE

Please remember to visit the BandOfParents website, raising money to humanize the 3F8 therapy. This is the fund that the Loneliest Road fundraised for.
If any Neuroblastoma parents would like to join the BandOfParents yahoo group please email: